My family for the first time are very supportive of me being a vegetarian, which feels great but on the other hand one of my closest friends who I expected to be really supportive is not. My family who last time I tried to become a vegetarian were actually cooking meat everyday so I wouldn't be able to stay vegetarian this time they have changed their eating habits so I would feel more comfortable around the dinner table. Whereas, this friend of mine who we became vegetarian at the same time is going back to eating meat and thought I should too. Even though it started off as being a challenge to me and I wanted to see if I can do it, everything changed now...I just don't think that we should be killing animals to eat them. I mean why is it unacceptable to kill a cat or a dog and eat them but it's okay to kill a cow or a chicken? It just doesn't make sense to me anymore, if cats and dogs have feelings so do other animals. She didn't like that my plans have changed and that it is not temporary anymore...but why does it matter if I decide to eat meat or not? why it bothered her I just don't understand. I am not the type that would force my ideas on people...my family and friends didn't even know I was a vegetarian until I was 2 to 3 weeks into it. Most people still don't know I am and most people that do know either asked me if I was or shared a meal with me. So it just doesn't make sense to me why she would be upset about it but oh well I guess I can't always know what is going on in other people's heads but what I do know is that if it is a big deal it'll eventually come up again and I'll know what is going on and if it is not then I guess it is not worth my time being wasted thinking about it.
I am having trouble sleeping lately, I don't know why but I just can't sleep at night anymore regardless of what time I woke up that day...I think there is more on my mind than what I can process and it keeps me up thinking about many things but not one thought can be captured.
Everybody is excited about the weather; the sun is out, it is warm and people finally can go to the beach...but I am wishing it would rain so I could stand outside feel the raindrops and think of nothing...it is weird but the only thing that always manages to clear my mind and free me from my worries always has been rain and just rain. Most people get in a bad mood when it is raining I, on the other hand, get in the most amazing worry free mindset and nothing seems like a big deal anymore.
I've been thinking about this for a while: If I were to die next week, would I want to know? I still don't know the answer to that but I guess the upside about knowing is that it would make me take advantage of every moment. As they say live everyday as if it were your last because one of those days it will be. It allows a person to finally remove all these masks and reveal themselves to the people they care about the most...the fear of looking like a fool would fade away...but why does one need to know that they are dying for them to allow themselves to be completely honest and show their emotions? The human mind works in a funny way.
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