I just got back from the emergency room. It is about 5 am now and I can't sleep. My mom is still there but she wouldn't let me stay with her, she thought if she sends me home I'll get to sleep. I have been telling her to go to the doctor for the past 3 days but she keeps telling me it's nothing and tonight she just passed out three times from the pain. I don't think I've ever been that worried before in my life. I remember 3 years ago when my grandpa was in the hospital and needed a kidney my mom wanted to give him one of hers but we all told her not to because he was really old, his heart was barely working and his body couldnt handle the surgery but I remember thinking would I be able to do that and give my mom a kidney? and tonight I found out I would give her my heart if she needed it. when the situation got serious I realized there is nothing I wouldn't do to make sure she is ok. I am a little worried though, my grandpa had to go through dialysis every 2 days and it made him exhausted and restricted his movement which made him give up on life. I know a lot of people go through life on dialysis but I don't want her to have to deal with that. It is just painful, restrictive and uncomfortable. I was going to go out tonight and at last minute plans changed I would've probably just got back home now and I keep thinking if I went out tonight what would've happened when she fainted? She had the same problem 30 years ago and they told her if she waited 2 hours it would've ruined her liver and caused her to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks and they told her the same thing tonight and I keep thinking what would've happened if I went out tonight or if I didn't see my friend online and talked to him for an hour before deciding to finally go to bed? knowing my mom, if I was sleeping she would've decided to wait till the morning. I forced her to go to the hospital tonight but I should've forced her to go to the doctors three days ago! I am still waiting to hear back from her. she is supposed to call me once all the testings are done, she has to wait for four hours for the results and she is sleeping now. I just want to go for a run now and get my mind off of this but my body is so exhausted I don't think I can move.