A Small Reminder

I was just reminded of a conversation I once had with a previous interest of mine. There was a level of boldness and openness in the conversation that made it quite interesting yet on the other hand the cards weren't completely on the table which kept it quite challenging. I was just thinking how things would've been different if that person waited a little longer to have that conversation with me. He knew what he wanted then and went after it which scared me and made me back off because at that point I didn't know what I wanted. I still don't know what I want but I know for a fact that if we had the same conversation a month ago instead of when we had it the outcome would've been completely different. So in some ways I am thankful it happened when it did and in other ways I am not. But this small reminder reminded me of how much I love the game and the anticipation that accompanies it and how I never want to give that up. I just have to be careful who to challenge to the game. I just realized that I’ve been going about it in the wrong way; I’ve been feeling bad about how I’ve acting earlier that I completely stopped but this one reminder made me realize that it was harmless fun for both of the people involved in it. And I wasn’t leading them on, they captured my attention and when it came down to it, I was afraid to move on to the next level, I was afraid to be committed to something and lose the security of knowing I can back out of it anytime I please with no harm done. So I guess this leaves me with this: I am going to play my games but I am also going to eventually show my cards when the time is right.